WWE Z
by Y2Jen
Summary: The WWE takes on their next challenge: making a live version of DragonBall Z. Are the superstars up to the task? Does Spanky have enough guts to direct? Will Vince have enough money? Find out and see in their crazy, hillarious parody!
1. Casting Call Auditions

After The Rock had a huge hit with The Scorpion King, Vince McMahon decided it's time to move the WWE into the movie business. What would their first project be? That's what they're deciding as of right now..  
  
"I think we should do The Lion King." Chris Jericho suggested.  
  
"Oh, and why's that?" Shane McMahon asked.  
  
"So he can be Simba and finally learn how to really sing." Stephanie McMahon replied.  
  
"Hey, shut up!" Chris growled.  
  
"I have an idea, why not do a TV series rather than a movie?" The Hurricane came in.  
  
"Hm, that's a pretty good idea." Shannon Moore agreed.  
  
"What TV show then?" Chris began to think.  
  
"How about DragonBall Z?" Spanky walked over.  
  
"That's a great idea!" Vince McMahon agreed.  
  
"Really, you think?" Spanky was shocked.  
  
"Why not."  
  
"Great, now let's get the cast!"  
  
"Not so fast, who died and put you in charge Spanky?"  
  
"Well definitely not you, Vince."  
  
"Dam strait!"  
  
"But it was my idea,"  
  
"But it's my money,"  
  
"So it should be my show."  
  
"And so I run this place."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Vince and Spanky growled and got in each other's face.  
  
"Why can't you work on it together?" Chris butted in.  
  
"That's a good suggestion." Spanky began to consider it. "We'll call it: Spanky and Vince present WWE Z."  
  
"Ahem?"  
  
"Ok, Vince and Spanky presents WWE Z."  
  
"Ahem!"  
  
"Fine, Vince presents WWE Z.." Spanky reluctantly gave in to Vince's demands.  
  
"That's much better." Vince smiled. Spanky sighed sadly. "Now, let's hold the auditions."  
  
"Ok, but since I know DBZ and you don't, I'll take care of this."  
  
"Oh and what gives you that right?"  
  
"Does the title 'executive producer' mean anything to you?"  
  
"Executive producer?"  
  
"We'll talk."  
  
"Fine, you go do your executive producer casting stuff, I'm going to count my money." Vince walked out of the room, leaving Spanky in charge of the superstars.  
  
"For the first day, I'll only be asking for specific characters, tomorrow we'll work on it all around." Spanky cleared his throat and sat in the director's chair with a megaphone. "I already have some ideas for some characters, while I go over it, why don't you help yourselves to the snack table. I don't know how long we'll have it."  
  
"Well, the teamsters said they'd pick it up this weekend." Stephanie replied.  
  
"Yea, teamsters, that'll happen." Shane joked and everyone laughed.  
  
As everyone helped themselves to the snack table, Spanky was hard at work scribbling away on his clipboard. After about half an hour he was done.  
  
"Gather around all, here I have posted the first group. I'll print up the scripts in the other room, so if you have a part assigned then come get one." Spanky walked into a room backstage in the studio.  
  
There were only a few people on there who Spanky had wanted to play certain people, they were: Goldberg as Napa, Nathan Jones and Jayce, Rocky as Cell, Big Show as Buu, Paul Heyman as Babidi, Crash as Krillin, RVD as Yamcha, Kurt Angle as Tien, Rey Mysterio as Chaitzou, Chris Jericho as Gohan, and Hulk Hogan as Master Roshi.  
  
"Hey, how come Jericho gets to be Gohan?" The Hurricane complained as he scrolled up and down the sheet. "My names not on here."  
  
"Well isn't it obvious?" Chris's ego swelled. "He wants talented actors." He walked into the other room.  
  
"Oh yea? We'll see about that." Hurricane stomped after Chris.  
  
"Here you go Chris, here's your starting character guide." Spanky handed the paper packet to Chris.  
  
"Hey, Spanky!" Hurricane stormed into the room before Chris could leave.  
  
"Oh hey Helms, sorry, I can't find your name." Spanky looked at his clipboard.  
  
"That's the problem, why am I not Gohan? I mean, Chris isn't smart or strong at all."  
  
"Hey!" Chris growled, hurt.  
  
"You make an excellent point Hurricane." Spanky smiled as he put a hand on Hurricane's shoulder, he grinned eagerly. "You'll be the perfect part for the Great Saiyaman."  
  
"What!" Hurricane's jaw dropped.  
  
"Oh, burn!" Chris laughed and used this time to make his exit. Hurricane got his character packet and left the room in a disappointed rage.  
  
"Ok that's it for now, we'll hold auditions later this afternoon and tomorrow I'll have the finalized cast." Spanky said as he came out of the room wearing a Hollywood visor.  
  
"It's official, the power's gone to his head." Shane whispered to his sister.  
  
"Don't worry, dad's used to having an ego." She replied.  
  
"Yes that's true, however I'm talking about that Spanky guy." Shane corrected.  
  
"Oh, well, some competition should be healthy for dad." Stephanie nodded.  
  
Some healthy competition hu Steph? Well, as Spanky finalizes the cast, we'll just have to see about that..  
  
Finalized cast:  
  
Goku- Triple H Gohan- Chris Jericho Vegeta- Val Venus Trunks- Christian Piccolo- Bubba Rey Bulma- Lita Chi-Chi- Stephanie McMahon Videl- Molly Holly Hurcule- Hardcore Holly Raditz- X-Pac Napa- Goldberg Freeza- Kane Cooler- Undertaker King Cold- Paul Bearer Captain Ginyu- Vince McMahon Jayce- Nathan Jones Recoom- Rikishi Burter- Kevin Nash Guldo- Jamie Noble Cell- The Rock Buu- Big Show Babidi- Paul Heyman Zarbon- Goldust Dodoria- Booker T Guru- JR Krillin- Crash Kami- Sgt. Slaughter Tien- Kurt Angle Yamcha- Rob Van Dam Chaitzou- Rey Mysterio King Kai- Ric Flair Supreme Kai- Shane McMahon Nail- D-Von Dudley Dende- Spike Dudley Great Saiyaman- The Hurricane Goten- Edge Pan- Ivory Android 16- Brock Lesnar Android 17- Steven Richards Android 18- Victoria Android 19- Mark Henry Android 20- Eric Bishoff Garlic Jr.- Chris Benoit Ox King- Al Snow Bardok- Shawn Michaels Debura- Rico Marron- Trish Stratus Master Roshi- Hulk Hogan Bulla- Terri Baby- Rhyno  
  
"May I present to you, WWE Z!" Spanky cried as everyone held their character packets.  
  
"Well genius, what now?" Stephanie McMahon asked.  
  
"Chill," Shane quickly scanned his script. "Chi-Chi."  
  
"Shut up," Stephanie flipped through her script. "Supreme Kai."  
  
"Good, we're all getting into character." Spanky smiled with a nod.  
  
"Hey Goldberg, I mean Napa, is it true that you hate planes?" Chris Jericho taunted with a snicker.  
  
"Shut up boy!" Goldberg yelled and grabbed Chris by the neck and raised him up into the air, strangling him.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing Gold- uh, Napa?" The Hurricane cried.  
  
"Helping Jeri- I mean, Gohan, get into character." Goldberg tightened his grip.  
  
"Oh, well that makes sense." The Hurricane smiled and walked off. Eventually Goldberg let go and walked off, letting Jericho collapse in a heap on the floor.  
  
"Get used to that, Gohan, you'll be going through a lot of it." Triple H laughed.  
  
"Hunter, I mean Goku, he's our son." Stephanie reminded.  
  
"AH!"  
  
"Hey the feeling is mutual, dad." Jericho emphasized the word 'dad'.  
  
"Shut up son, or I'll give you a spanking." Triple H shook a finger mockingly.  
  
"Somebody call?" Spanky ran into the room.  
  
"Uh, no?" Stephanie looked around a little confused.  
  
"Never mind." Spanky shook his head. "Ok, I've just gone over this with Vince, we're gonna start from the beginning."  
  
"You mean with Raditz?" Jericho asked.  
  
"No, the beginning."  
  
"Yea, the Saiyan Saga."  
  
"No, from the beginning timeline wise, not by release date."  
  
"Hu?"  
  
"We're going to start with Bardok's rebellion against Freeza."  
  
"But that's a movie."  
  
"So?"  
  
"We're doing a TV show."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Uh.."  
  
"And, we need to set the scene and start off at the very beginning." Spanky continued.  
  
"Well what about King Vegeta and Bardok's team?" Jericho pointed out.  
  
"Oh, I never cast them."  
  
"Aw, isn't that nice."  
  
"Jericho, nobody likes sarcasm."  
  
"Sure they do Spanky." Jericho grinned.  
  
"Guys, I hate to cut in here." Val Venus tried to cut in.  
  
"Stay out of this hot shot!" Spanky and Jericho growled at the same time. Val held up his hands and took a few steps back.  
  
"Whoa Vegeta, you're not gonna take that like nothing, are you?" Triple H asked.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Man, you're waaaaaaay out of character."  
  
Now that the main cast is set, the start of Bardok: The Father Of Goku is about to begin. 


	2. HBK: The Father Of HHH

"Ok, thanks to an observant point made by Chris Jericho last weekend, I have assigned a King Vegeta and Bardok's team." Spanky announced when he walked into the studio one morning.  
  
"Ok, who are they?" Val Venus looked around. "I don't see any new faces."  
  
"That's because we'll be using you guys." Spanky explained. "This takes place when Triple H, uh Goku, is only a little baby, so most of you aren't even born yet."  
  
"Hey, now that's just mean." Chris Jericho frowned.  
  
"Deal with it." Spanky ignored him. "So I have cast King Vegeta as Test."  
  
"Test? But he's the janitor!" Triple H cried.  
  
"Hey I resent that remark!" Test poked his head out of the janitor's closet.  
  
"Get out of there Test!" Spanky called. Test came out and straitened his shirt.  
  
"Oh, now I know why he offered to be the janitor." Shane nudged Stephanie, she giggled.  
  
"Focus people, focus." Spanky drew their attention back to him. "Bardok's team will consist of Molly Holly, Rikishi, X-Pac and Kurt Angle. But only Molly and X-Pac will be used in the majority, Rikishi and Kurt are just for show."  
  
"Ouch, that hurts." Kurt frowned.  
  
"Don't it?" Spanky smirked.  
  
"Did somebody say donut?" Rikishi burst onto the scene in a flash.  
  
"Ok, we're going to start recording so get into character and be ready, I'll be back in five." Spanky walked out of the room to get the crew and ready everything.  
  
"So Jericho, whose needed for today?" Kurt Angle asked.  
  
"Well in the movie there's Bardok, his team, King Vegeta, Vegeta, Goku as a baby, Napa, Freeza, Zarbon and Dodoria." He counted on his fingers and in his mind.  
  
"Who will be the other people in the background?" Rikishi asked.  
  
"Oh they're not important." Jericho smiled.  
  
"Alright everyone, places!" Spanky ran back into the room with his megaphone and sat down on his director's chair. "Ready, and action!"  
  
The camera scrolled on the scene of the city, it zoomed into one of the buildings, showing an infantry.  
  
"We need somebody to run the place!" Someone called. A stagehand threw Kevin Nash and Jamie Noble on the scene.  
  
"Now what?" They asked.  
  
"Triple H, you're a baby, you're supposed to be crying?" Spanky informed.  
  
"But this diaper getup is humiliating enough as it is." Triple H complained.  
  
"Do it!"  
  
"Fine. Wha, wha." Triple H cried in a false, monotone voice sarcastically.  
  
"Man that's annoying." Jamie groaned to Nash.  
  
"Shut up," Nash read the nametag. "Kakerot. What the hell kinda name is that?"  
  
"It's Saiyan!" Spanky yelled.  
  
"Where the hell are the kid's parents?" Jamie asked.  
  
"I dunno, how the hell would I know that?" Nash growled back at Jamie.  
  
"They're out on a mission!" Spanky yelled.  
  
"Oh." Jamie and Nash nodded.  
  
The scene shows some far off planet where fighting has just finished taking place. Shawn Michaels and his crew were relaxing after another successful mission.  
  
"Why the hell are you eating again?" X-Pac asked Rikishi.  
  
"Cause it's in the script."  
  
"Oh that's your excuse for everything." Angle laughed and Rikishi scowled. "Oh it's true alright, it's DAM true. Wooooo!" He got up and did his little spin dance as he kissed his gold medals.  
  
"Hey, what's the matter with you, heart broken?" Molly turned to HBK, ignoring Kurt.  
  
"No, something about my son.." HBK tried to recall his lines.  
  
"You miss your son, you never got to see him." Angle whispered.  
  
"No! You don't even remember that he was even born!" Spanky slapped his forehead.  
  
"Oh yea, no Molly, I don't have a son." HBK smiled.  
  
"Yes you do, he was born just yesterday." Molly replied.  
  
"Huh.. line?" HBK asked.  
  
"It's not your line, it's the alien but we don't have one." A crewmember on the side called.  
  
"Well throw somebody in there!" Spanky yelled and the stage manager threw Al Snow on the set, he was eating a sandwich. "Get that thing out of his mouth!" The stage manager pulled it out and threw it on the floor.  
  
"Aw.." Al sighed and slumped his shoulders.  
  
"Hurry up and say your lines!" Spanky was already under a ton of stress.  
  
"Oh, uh," Al cleared his throat and got into character. "Shawn Michaels, you and your crew killed my entire people, and now I have a gift for you.. What the hell?" Al turned to Spanky. "Ok, so this guy wiped out an entire planet and now he's giving him a present? What the hell is up with this race, no wonder they were all killed off."  
  
"Al, just stick to the script." Spanky began to cry.  
  
"Fine." Al turned back to HBK. "Oh, I'm supposed to hit you." Al gives HBK a chop to the back of the neck and he falls. Al laughs and disappears. "Ok, can I have my sandwich back now?"  
  
"Hey Shawn, are you ok?" X-Pac runs over to his friend.  
  
"We'd better get him back." Molly replied and they all got back into their ship and flew back to their home planet.  
  
The next scene shows recovery where Jamie and Nash are watching a monitor while HBK is healing. His crew comes into the room.  
  
"Kane gave us another mission, is he ready yet?" Kurt asks.  
  
"Nope, sorry." Nash replies.  
  
"Well tell him we had to go." X-Pac says and they leave. A few minutes later, HBK is done. He gets out of the recovery chamber and puts his suit back on.  
  
"Your crew had to go, they had another mission." Jamie informs him.  
  
"And they left without me, how selfish." HBK sighs and begins to hold his head.  
  
"What is it?" Jamie asks and there's a long pause.  
  
"Triple H, you're supposed to be crying again." Spanky rubs his temples.  
  
"Grrr, this is no role for the worlds champion.." Triple H rolls his eyes and cries in a fake voice. "Wha, wha."  
  
"That baby wont shut up!" HBK growls.  
  
"That baby, is your son." Nash replies.  
  
"What? My son?" HBK runs down the hall.  
  
"Wrong way Shawn." Spanky grumbles.  
  
"Oh yea, sorry." HBK notices the dead end of the back of the stage. He runs in the other direction until he sees a window and notices Triple H in it. "My son." HBK tries to say it with a strait face but seeing Triple H in a diaper was cracking him up. "Man, I better get outa here." HBK runs off the stage and when the camera cuts, he bursts out laughing.  
  
"Hey shut up." Triple H stands up and puts his hands on his hips.  
  
"Aw what's the matter? Did baby go boom-boom?" HBK taunted and everyone on the set, even Spanky, busted up. "And I'm spent. Cue my music!" Sexy Boy fills the air and Shawn does his little pose as the pyros shoot up in the air. "I'm just a sexy boy!"  
  
"Ok, ok, now Goldberg is waiting for Val to finish his training." Spanky stopped laughing.  
  
The camera goes to a hall where Goldberg is waiting outside a room until Val comes out.  
  
"It's about time." He growls.  
  
"Hey shut up, I'm a prince." Val says sexily and takes the towel off his shoulder and begins to rub it against himself in a sexual fashion.  
  
"Cut it out." Spanky sighs. Val throws it to a female stagehand and walks off.  
  
"Ok your highness, where are you going now?" Goldberg follows his master.  
  
"To see Kane." Val walks into the main room where Booker T and Goldust stand, guarding Kane.  
  
"Great, and what do you want?" Booker T asks.  
  
"Kane, give me a mission, I'm bored." Val ignores Booker T.  
  
"Answer me sucka!" He growls.  
  
"Leave him alone." Kane turns around. "Ok fine, you want a mission, Goldust give him the hardest mission we've got."  
  
"Yes-s-s-s-sire!" Goldust stammers and walks off, Val and Goldberg reluctantly follow.  
  
"As for you Booker T, I have an assignment for you as well." Kane adds.  
  
The scene shows the planet where Booker T is beating up X-Pac.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" X-Pac asks.  
  
"Because that's what the line tells me to do." Booker T replies.  
  
"No!" Spanky cries.  
  
"Oh yea." Booker T remembers. "Because you're getting too strong."  
  
"That's dumb."  
  
"Yea it is, isn't it?"  
  
"Stick to the script!" Spanky yells.  
  
"Well anyway, you have to die now." Booker T throws X-Pac to the ground hard.  
  
"Ow!" X-Pac cried.  
  
"Oh sorry." Booker T replies.  
  
"No you're not." Spanky begins to cry again.  
  
"Oh yea." Booker T blushes and walks off the set. HBK walks on.  
  
"Oh no, you're all dead!" He gasps and does a cross with his finger over his heart.  
  
"I'm still alive you know." X-Pac calls.  
  
"Oh no, you're dying!" HBK corrects himself. X-Pac goes limp. "Ok, now you're dead." HBK nods and picks up X-Pac's bandana around his head and puts it on his own.  
  
"Oh there you are HBK." Booker T comes back on the scene.  
  
"It's you, Booker T." HBK growls.  
  
"That's right!" Booker T looks at his hand and begins to shake his head. "The five time, five time, five time, five time, five time WCW champion, now can you dig that. sucka!" He poses.  
  
"Enough!" Spanky explodes.  
  
"Oops, sorry." Booker T stands back up. "I guess I forgot to kill you so now I will." He punches him and HBK falls. "Boom, you're dead." He walks away.  
  
"No I'm not." HBK stands back up and looks around. "Well, guess I'd better go back to base." He gets into his ship but before he leaves he hears Booker T talking.  
  
"What, Kane wants to talk to me?" He was asking in his headset.  
  
"That's right." The person on the other end breaths deeply.  
  
"Man, you gotta stop that."  
  
"Goldust." He snaps his teeth.  
  
"Are you even listening to me?" Booker T shakes his head and walks off the set.  
  
The camera changes back to the base where Triple H was crying again.  
  
"Ok you're going to a planet called Earth." Jamie said as Triple H was put in a pod.  
  
"Good, now with him gone we'll finally get some peace and quiet around here." Nash sighed as the pod was shot out of the ship.  
  
The scene changes to Kane's ship where Booker T arrives back and stands by Goldust.  
  
"So you didn't kill HBK?" Kane asks Booker T.  
  
"No, I did."  
  
"No, you didn't."  
  
"Yes I did."  
  
"No you didn't!"  
  
"Ok fine, I didn't." Booker T takes a step back.  
  
"But rather then give you another chance, I'm gonna do this myself." Kane smiles. "I'm gonna destroy the whole planet with my fire power, no pun intended."  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"No it isn't!"  
  
The scene moves to outside the ship where a space pod approaches. It's King Test.  
  
"Alright Kane listen up, return my son Prince Val and nobody gets hurt." He calls.  
  
"Whose the mother?" Kane asks.  
  
"Uh.." Test flips through the script. "Spanky, whose the mother?"  
  
"There is no mother!" He calls.  
  
"Well then how is he my son?" Test asks.  
  
"I don't know, nobody knows!" Spanky growls.  
  
"Ok fine." Test turns back to Kane. "I don't know, nobody knows."  
  
"AH!" Spanky explodes again and throws his copy of the script on the floor.  
  
"Well since he has no mommy, he'll have no daddy." Kane choke slams Test, killing him.  
  
The scene changes back to the base where HBK arrives beaten up.  
  
"I have to tell everyone that Kane's coming to kill us." He runs off.  
  
"Yo, HBK, you're supposed to be in lethal pain here?" Spanky reminds.  
  
"Oh yea." HBK begins to limp and groan as he walks, Spanky nods with a satisfied grin. He enters a room where the rest of cast is. "You guys are all gonna die if you don't go away now, Kane's coming to kill us."  
  
"Oh no, the big red machine's snapped! AH!" Jericho runs off.  
  
"No you idiot, it's in the script, you all are the Saiyans who don't believe me and are going to die." HBK informs.  
  
"I believe you, so I won't die." Nash pats HBK on the back.  
  
"No, nobody believes me so you all die."  
  
"But I don't wanna die!"  
  
"Well to bad, you do!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause the script says so."  
  
"Guys, speaking of the script, do you mind sticking to it?" Spanky says through his teeth.  
  
"Oh yea, sorry." HBK turns back to them all. "You're all dead." He runs off before anyone can say anything.  
  
"Wow, what's with him?" Jamie asks Nash as he comes over from the snack table, he shrugs.  
  
The scene shows HBK run outside and jump into the air, a wire allowing him to fly.  
  
"Wee, oh, I mean.. Kane, come out and fight me!" He yells.  
  
"Ok." Kane gets up quickly inside his ship.  
  
"You're really gonna listen to him?" Booker T is shocked.  
  
"Did I ask you?" Kane pulls on his gloves.  
  
"No, sorry. Goldust, prepare his ride and open the door." Booker T says.  
  
"Yah!" Goldust runs off screaming and flailing his arms.  
  
"Show yourself you coward!" HBK demands. The ship's hatch opens and Kane appears on a flying capsule. "I'm sick of working for you, on behalf of the Saiyans, we quit!"  
  
"You can't quit, you're fired!" Kane yells as he throws back his hair and raises his hands over his head.  
  
"Hu?" HBK is confused and scared.  
  
Kane throws his arms down to his side and that was the cue for the pyro man. There's a loud boom and a burst of fire shoots up, one destroys the planet and the other burns up HBK (no, not for real).  
  
"Now you all have felt the wrath of Kane." Kane goes back into his ship.  
  
"I can see it, the future! My son Triple H will be the one to defeat Kane." HBK smiles as he dies. "He was the one in the pod who past me when I was returning to base." He dies and the fire explodes the planet, killing all the Saiyans.  
  
The scene changes to Triple H pretending to be asleep in the pod, HBK is heard in a voice over.  
  
"My son, I'm sorry I never got a chance to hold you in my arms, I'll never forgive myself for that. But you'll grow up to defeat Kane, so I know my death was not in vain." Triple H wakes up as the pod flies into the Earth's atmosphere.  
  
"And that's a cut." Spanky yells in the megaphone and flops down against his chair.  
  
"Wow that was great!" HBK cheers as everyone rushes over to slap high fives with each other, they all root.  
  
"Are you kidding me? That was horrible, I'm a stressed wreck!" Spanky growls as he gets out of his chair and stomps over, shaking a fist at everyone.  
  
"What are you talking about, it was pretty fun." HBK laughs.  
  
"For you maybe, but I was busy the whole time asking God to kill me." Spanky snaps.  
  
"Hmm, he must've been busy." HBK nods and Spanky just growls.  
  
"So, when do we being the series?" Jericho asks as he steps in the crowd.  
  
"You know what, after this I don't even think we're gonna have a series." Spanky tries to not hyperventilate.  
  
"Aw, but I wanted to see Triple H get his monkey tail ripped off." Hurricane laughs.  
  
"That's in DragonBall you dummy." Jericho slaps him upside the head.  
  
"Ow."  
  
And so as everyone celebrates, or has a seizure of anger on the floor in Spanky's case, you can't help but wonder: will there ever be a WWE Z series? 


End file.
